Decluttering: Overcoming Emotional Obstacles and Letting Go of What Doesn’t Serve You

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Decluttering can be stressful and emotional, and we can find ourselves almost paralyzed with indecision in the process. If you’ve made the commitment to get more organized but are struggling with letting go of items, there are some key questions you can ask yourself and some hard truths that will help you more effectively declutter.

Have I used or needed this item within the last year?

The reality is, if you haven’t needed or used an item within the last year, you probably will never use or need it. And the more time that passes, the less likely it is that you will even remember that you even have it. Stop saving things “just in case,” or when it comes to clothes, stop keeping that size 4 dress you wore when you were 20 in the hope that “someday” you will lose all of the weight and be able to fit into these clothes again. Even if you lose all of that weight, remember that fashions change, and what seemed stylish 10 years ago, may be dated today or at some point in the future when you reach your weight goal.

Does this item serve me or bring me happiness?

Or as Marie Kondo has famously taught us to ask, “Does it spark joy?” If something no longer serves you or brings you happiness, its presence in your life may actually bring you stress and anxiety. Embrace who you are today and surround yourself with items that make you feel good about yourself and not those that taunt you with what you perceive to be your imperfections or shortcomings.  

Am I only keeping it out of guilt or obligation because someone gifted it to me?

Is it really a gift if it becomes an obligation, and do you think your loved one would truly want you to hold on to something that brings you anything but joy? In the effort to spare hurt feelings, a lot of people will keep an unwanted gift with the idea of trotting it out when the gift-giver visits.

First of all, the reality is that you’re probably thinking and worrying about that gift far longer than the gift-giver ever will. Second, that’s just a lot of pressure to put on yourself, and a lot of extra work and trouble that you don’t need to put yourself through. A gift should not be a burden. And, yes, unfortunately there are some people out there who, quite frankly, will be petty, controlling, and try to make you feel guilty about their “gifts,” but we’re here to tell you that putting your mental health first and refusing to be pushed into keeping things that you do not want is not selfish—it is self-care.

Am I only keeping it because I “paid good money for it”?

You’ve already spent the money, and if it has no practical value to you, then it has no true value in the larger, more important sense of the word. Donating or passing it on to someone who needs or will love it is actually a way to revive its value. And, let’s face it, if clutter equals stress in your life as it does with so many of us, this “valuable” item that you’re holding on to is actually costing you in other ways, including emotionally, which in turn can have negative effects on your physical health as well.

Some people will hold on to things in the hopes of selling them “someday” to somehow recoup some of the monetary value they believe they will lose by getting rid of something. If you’re set on selling these items, then make a plan and execute it swiftly, but if you’re just going to let the process drag on, then consider donation instead.

Those of us who’ve held garage sales or sold items in consignment shops or through Ebay, Facebook Marketplace, and the like know that the time and effort that goes into selling items is sometimes not worth the ultimate return. So consider being strategic on what you plan to sell—in other words, use the principle of big return for little effort to guide your decisions, and, again, be willing to cut your “losses” to keep the big picture in mind:

Having an organized, peaceful space can be priceless to your general outlook and health, allowing you to be happier and more productive.